Before we had even conceived our second child, I would spend hours at night Googling all the signs and symptoms of pregnancy.
After sifting determinedly through each and every search result, I'd either a.) fall asleep convinced that I was pregnant, b.) fall asleep convinced that I wasn't pregnant, or c.) fall asleep mid-read and drop the phone abruptly on my face.
For expectant mothers, the questions, fears, and curiosities only seem to escalate as a pregnancy progresses. Both of my daughters have now managed to stubbornly evade their expected due dates, thereby leaving me to question, fear, and wonder all the more about everything imaginable up until the very (very) end.
This week, I waddled into my 40th week of pregnancy. They did an Ultrasound to check the health of our little lady and estimated that she is weighing in at a whopping 9 pounds and 3 ounces. My doctor didn't waste any time explaining some of the possible complications that could arise from delivering a larger baby (Don't worry--I won't subject you to the same graphic images). Let's just say that her risk analysis did nothing to put this overdue, walking incubator at ease.
Quite the contrary. Her news sent me into another all-too-familiar frenzy of online searches. Once again, I found myself running to Google for answers, encouragement, and comfort instead of running to God.
I know I am not alone in this. You don't have to be pregnant to understand the obsession we all have with instant gratification.
We want answers to our questions--and we want them now.
We want relief from our fears--and we want it now.
We want assurance and comfort in the midst of our trials--and we want it now.
We want guidance through our troubles--and we want it now.
We hastily consult every available resource we have access to--whether it be search engines, blogs, books, or the listening ear of a close friend--prior to consulting the One who has all the answers.
God has been using this final stretch of my pregnancy to reveal just how unreliable and unsatisfying every other resource is compared to Him. This past week, He has beckoned me to return to the nourishing balm of His word and the surpassing peace of His communion.
Here are six verses that God has been using to redirect and reassure my anxious heart as we wait for the arrival of our newest little blessing. Although most of my reflections on these verses are tailored specifically to my personal pregnancy experience, these truths are not exclusive to pregnant women.
These verses are applicable to any earnest believer who has been struggling to fully and abandonedly trust in the sovereign and capable God of the Bible. So, my fellow believers, consider these truths in the context of your own questions, doubts, fears, and trials. Commit them to your heart and your mind and be blessed by the incomparable flood of comfort and assurance that God alone can supply.
Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the Lord's purpose that will stand."
From the beginning of my pregnancy, I have planned to have a vaginal, pain-free, labor experience that would mimic my previous labor experience. But this verse reminds me that the Lord has beautiful, immovable purposes for my upcoming birth experience that may or may not synchronize with my plans. Whether I end up being induced or not, whether I end up with an epidural or not, whether I end up with a c-section or not--the Lord has a purpose in all of it. His purposes cannot be changed. Therefore, I will lean on the certainty of His purposes rather than the uncertainties of my own plans.
Pslam 139:13-16 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."
What a comfort to know that God has already written every single day of my daughter's life. She will breathe every breath God has planned for her to breathe. She will experience every season that God has planned for her to experience. She will boycott every nap God has planned for her to boycott! She won't live a second too long, or die a second too soon. God is the sole creator and author of her life, and--as such--I must learn to entrust her life to Him completely.
Psalm 139:1-5 "O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me."
When my mind is flooded with worries, I can cling to this truth: God knows my every thought. He knows the sum of all my pregnancy-related concerns. He knows what my Google search history will look like before the day has even begun. Not only does He know the burdens of my heart, but he cares about them. 1 Peter 5:7 confirms this: "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." He also promises to sustain me when I cast my cares upon Him (Psalm 55:22). Because He knows my every thought, cares about them all, and offers to sustain me, I ought to first consult Him for the answers, relief, and comfort I seek.
Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
There are so many 'what-ifs' about tomorrow that I could burden myself with today. But thankfully, God knows the propensity of my mind to do so. Therefore, He has graciously commanded me not to worry about tomorrow. Period. This command frees me from wasting precious moments with the ones I love today. It enables me to live, love, and serve fully in the present. Like the gentle nudge of a shepherd's staff, this verse keeps my thoughts from straying to anxious pastures.
Psalm 135:5-7 "For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses."
Oh, for faith to believe in the sovereign control of God. Much like He's doing in the vast, unknown depths of the sea, God is doing all that He pleases in this final stage of my pregnancy. Much like there is a sovereign appointment for every bolt of lightning and every gust of wind, there will be no accidents in the remainder of my pregnancy.
Philippians 4:4-7 "The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
This verse has been so instructive to my heart this week. It has taught me, ever so practically, to transform my worries into prayers and to humbly present God with my requests. When I've worried about my baby getting stuck on her way out, I have let my requests be made known to God--God, please keep her from getting stuck during my delivery. When I've worried about my epidural wearing off at critical moments, I have let my requests be made known to God--God, please allow any medicine I receive to work promptly and effectively. Prayer is God's full-proof, prescribed method for experiencing His peace--a peace that far surpasses what that of any opinion/experience-driven pregnancy discussion board can provide.
There is no mystical formula for experiencing the peace of God we all crave. We must simply be intentional to consult Him and His truth as our primary source.
One day this past week, I carved out some time in my schedule to jot these verses down on some index cards. I've made it a point to consult these scriptures multiple times a day. I've paused expectantly over each line to meditate and pray--allowing my mind to be captivated by what is true.
As a result, I've been consulting Google less and less. And while there is still no baby in my arms at this moment in time, there is a surpassing peace in my heart.
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