In my sober (and by sober I mean not intoxicated with anger) state of mind, this truth is easy for me to embrace. However, with one year of marriage under my belt, I recognize (all too well) how prone I am to surrender all control of my emotions at the slightest provocation.
As Harold and I navigate the ropes of Christ-like respect and love in our marriage, I confess that I am in need of grace and instruction from the Lord. Therefore, I have prayerfully assembled a selection of verses from God's word to help compose this post. I pray that these truths will cleanse the renegade chambers of my heart, soul, and mind, and will, in turn, provide me with the ammunition necessary to battle the deceitful enemy of anger. I hope that my transparency into this matter will encourage you to exercise control over your own anger as well--for the glory of God, alone!
Following one of my losing duels with anger, I tend to flip penitently to this instructive verse from the book of James:
"Know this, my beloved brothers: Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires." (James 1:19)
It may seem like a simple set of precautions--be quick to hear and slow to speak. However, these two short phrases supply followers of Christ with valuable wisdom and practicality. If I humble myself so that my ears are eager and willing to hear someone's point of view, explanation or even complaint against me, an entire battle could be circumnavigated. And if I am slow to voice my opinions or to make my defense upon hearing someone's point of view, explanation, or complaint against me, then--once more--the situation could easily deescalate.
Admittedly, this verse usually only comes into view once the consuming cloud of smoke and ash from my anger volcano has settled. How helpful it would have been, I think with remorse, to have regarded these words instead of reacting in anger! If only I hadn't allowed my anger to rise like lava from the mantle of my heart and spew uncontrollably out of my mouth! (Ok, so maybe my thoughts aren't quite this eloquent and simile-esque following an angry feud, but you get the point!)
Truthfully, all of us use our tongues to vent and direct the anger within our hearts. In his writings, James goes on to provide some powerful metaphors related to the human tongue and the manifestation of sinful anger:
"How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness...no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing." (James 3:5-6, 8-10)
Because our words have the potential to be so damaging, the admonition we receive from James to "be slow to speak" is of great value. Christ himself is the greatest example we have to follow as we train ourselves to bite our tongue. I am always so humbled as I read about the events leading up to the Crucifixion of Jesus. Jesus was aware--even in the midst of the deepest accusation and persecution against Him--of His true identity. He knew he was:
- The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords (Revelation 17:14, Revelation 19:16)
- The name at which every knee would eventually bow and every tongue would confess as Lord (Philippians 2:10-11)
- The creator and upholder of the universe (Hebrews 1:2-3)
- The One worthy to receive power, and wealth, and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing (Revelation 5:12)
Jesus deserved to be worshiped and revered as King, but instead, he was whipped and ridiculed as a criminal. In light of who He was and how He was being treated, Jesus--more than anyone--was entitled to make a defense. He was entitled to get angry, and not even with a sinful anger, but a pure, righteous and justifiable anger. He could have unleashed the words of His mouth to silence and condemn any and all of His earthly opponents.
But as the pompous, hypocritical leaders brought their false charges against Him, Pilate, the chief officer who was set over the whole dispute, directed this question to the guiltless King Jesus:
"Have you no answer to make? See how many charges they bring against you."
What happened next was amazing. In fact, the Bible says that even Pilate was amazed! Because, rather than make His defense, we read that Jesus made no further answer.
Jesus would not compromise His obedience to God, for He knew that He had been called by God to love and die for His enemies. Therefore, He made no further answer. Wow.
You and I are not Jesus. We have none of the entitlements that He has. We are lowly humans, tainted by sin and tempted to sin at every turn. How much less of a defense, therefore, should we be willing to make when we are brought to trial as a result of our sin-laden actions and words.
I don't expect for my sinful reactions to change by my own will-power alone, and neither should you. I believe that our ability to react with love and self-control will depend upon the Spirit's enabling, for the Spirit that God has given us is one of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). May it be the Lord Himself that directs our hearts to the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ (2 Thessalonians 3:5) as we strive to put to death the sinful anger that rages within. And may we resist, as Christ did so graciously and willingly, the temptation to make a defense for ourselves--with minds set above.
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