What has the first year of marriage looked like for two followers of Christ?

So, one year ago today, I said "I do" to the most generous, selfless, joyful, humorous and handsome man I've ever known! I met Harold while I was teaching in South Korea. Within a month of knowing each other, we started dating. Within our first month of dating, I was already telling close friends that I could see myself marrying him. By the end of our stay in South Korea, sure enough, we were engaged. And just a few days past our one year dating anniversary, we were married! I cannot believe it has been a full year since then!

I have been so richly blessed and so humbly challenged by my first year of marriage with Harold. I pray that this special edition anniversary post will serve as a testimony of God's grace, wisdom, forgiveness, and steadfast love--for every peak and valley of our journey thus far can be ascribed to the ministering hands of God.

There are many experiences from our initial year together that I could enumerate for you on my own. However, in doing so, I would fail to capture the manifold dimensions that characterize a joint adventure. And so, Harold has graciously agreed to lend his own valuable perspective to us as we expound upon the essential question of this post.

We decided that a Q&A format would be best and most engaging for the purposes of this post. We hope that you will enjoy reading our personal reflections. For our married audience, we pray that you will be encouraged to reflect upon and celebrate God's goodness in your own journey with your spouse. For our soon-to-be married and presently unmarried readers, we pray that you will be encouraged at the prospect of your own future journey--which is sure to be a sweet gift from the Lord in His due time!

Q&A with H&H

What is one word you would use to describe the first year of your marriage? Why?

"Revealing. God has used this first year of marriage to reveal to me how I should consider the needs and wants of another above my own. He has revealed this to me in matters both small and great. Whether it has been a matter of choosing a place to go to dinner, choosing a place for vacation, or deciding who is going to get up from the cozy bed at night and turn off the light, God has had to reveal my selfishness and cultivate His selflessness."-Hannah

"Cool- I use this word to describe our first year of marriage because I think it gives you an idea of how different Hannah and I are. She is a thoughtful, quiet, intelligent woman (and very good with words). She probably used some word that I didn't even know existed, and well, I’m very different (not that good with my words). We’re total opposites in many areas of our relationship! I think this year has taught us how to enjoy our differences, and value the God-given qualities in the other person." -Harold

What is one characteristic of Christ that your spouse has consistently displayed throughout your marriage thus far? How has witnessing this characteristic influenced you specifically?

"Harold is so generous. Harold has a genuine desire to bless others by giving selflessly, freely, and abundantly. He has displayed this Christ-like characteristic since the beginning of our relationship. I remember going to lunch with him on the first day I met him. He had just recently arrived to South Korea and barely had a handle on Korean currency, but he offered to pay for my lunch. When I told him he didn't have to do that, he simply replied, with all genuineness, “I wanted to!” And that has been the case throughout our entire marriage! He always wants to give and be generous to others. This has really inspired me to examine my own generosity. Witnessing his heart and his mentality in this area has truly inspired me to challenge my existing standard of generosity." -Hannah

"Hannah has been extremely forgiving; she is quick to forgive me and move on. I tend to hold on to things and stay bitter for a while. She has definitely been an example in that way, and has encouraged me to act the same towards her." -Harold

Describe a specific time in which your marriage has brought you joy. 

"Celebrating Christmas as a married couple brought me tremendous joy. We were able to spend time with both of our families for our first Christmas. At one point in the evening, while we (my family and Harold’s family) were all gathered at Harold’s family’s home celebrating, I thought back to a conversation I had with a close friend prior to meeting Harold. We were discussing our future marriages and how wonderful it would be to celebrate the holidays with our spouses and both sets of families! I was so excited at the prospect of the large family gatherings that would accompany the union of a man and wife! As I recalled this conversation, and then considered the reality that I was now married and in the midst of a large family gathering, I was filled with joy! It was such a wonderful experience to be in the same place with the man I love and all the people that we both love." -Hannah

"It's not just one specific time--it's more like something specific that happens every day--but praying together with Hannah brings me joy. We are able to share things that are on our heart, and bring them before a God who cares about every detail of our lives." -Harold

What is one specific example of how your spouse has been a source of encouragement for you over the past year? 

"Harold has been a source of encouragement to me in so many ways over this past year. Most recently, he has really encouraged me in my blogging! He is the first to read every post and he always gives me such positive feedback and he takes time to share with me specifically what he enjoyed from each post. His praise of and support for anything I do is such an encouragement to me!" -Hannah

"Hannah has been an encouragement in the many ways that she serves me. It’s been things like making me breakfast, packing my lunch, or doing my laundry. I’m thankful for the many sacrifices that she makes for our marriage, and it has encouraged me to do the same for her! -Harold

What is your favorite memory overall from this initial year of marriage? 

"My favorite memory from our initial year of marriage was when we went to Atlanta, GA for a weekend getaway. The week following our trip, I knew I would be having parent/teacher conferences, and so originally, I had planned on bringing some conference work with me to complete on the drive. Harold wasn't thrilled by the prospect of me bringing work on vacation; but, he understood the fact that I had to get it done. I decided, however, at the last minute, to leave everything at home. Because of that, we ended up having the best time together! We were totally free to enjoy each other’s company fully and without distraction. The weather was beautiful, it was our first trip together as a married couple (apart from our honeymoon), and for me, it was the best memory we have made so far!" -Hannah

"Other than the honeymoon?.......ANYWAYS, my favorite memory was when we took a mini-vacay up to Savannah, Ga. It was good being able to spend a few days together with no schedule or list of things we had to get done. Just a nice hotel, ferry rides to and fro along the river, and huge plantations. Plus they have crazy good southern food…like Paula Dean’s all you can eat buffet….or Wiley’s Championship BBQ….." -Harold

A special thanks goes out to my sweet husband for his willingness to compile and share his thoughts for the sake of this blog post! Harold, It means the world to me that you would sacrifice your time to do something so sweet for me, and yet, so challenging for you (Remember, he does NOT like writing!). You are the BEST husband, the BEST friend, and the BEST gift God has given me! Love you always and forever! 

How can a follower of Christ choose to be joyful when returning to work?

So, June 6, 2014 was a joyous day in history for me this year. Why? Because it marked the beginning of my two-month summer break from teaching! It marked the beginning of sleeping in, laying out by the pool, organizing and cleaning the apartment (Yes--I find that to be a fun task!), trying new recipes--essentially, it marked the birth of a new, more joyful me!

The past year was a stressful year of teaching for me. I was overwhelmed to tears on more occasions than I can count and I was ready to retire from teaching altogether. Harold had to constantly remind me that our joy, as followers of Christ, needs to be rooted in Christ Himself--not in our circumstances. The reason being is that Christ offers us a steadfast source of joy, whereas our circumstances offer us only a shifting source of joy.

It is now almost the middle of July. My summer days are dwindling down and my return to work is looming inevitably in the distance--as unstoppable and unpleasant as a Florida thunderstorm in the summertime. That being said, it's not hard to recognize that I am still (very much) struggling to rightly place my joy in Christ alone as I begin to consider another long school year. I have compiled a short--yet compelling--list of evidence that further proves the reality of my struggle:

1. I can't bring myself to check my work email. Even staring at the icon leaves my stomach in knots...
2. If you were to ask me when I have to go back to work, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I refuse to check the county website to see when I'm actually required to return...
3. My anxiety soars to new heights at the mere sight of back-to-school newspaper inserts...

Clearly, this teacher needs to be taught a lesson in choosing joy. Which leads us to the essential question of this post: How can a follower of Christ choose to be joyful when returning to work? Maybe you're a teacher like me, returning to work after nearly two uninterrupted months off! Perhaps you're returning to work after only a small taste of freedom--a vacation of some sort. Or maybe you're just returning to work from a standard weekend break. Whatever the case, as a follower of Christ, it is possible to return to our jobs with a joyful attitude. However, if you're anything like me, returning joyfully will require some biblical rewiring of your heart and mind.

Whenever my circumstances threaten to steal my joy in Christ, I am always encouraged by this verse in Philippians 4:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your resonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:4-7)

In whom are we called to rejoice? In the Lord himself--not in circumstances. Our circumstances are not always good, but the Lord is always good. I also appreciate how this verse draws a connection between the human emotions of anxiety and joy. Our joy is affected by our anxiety. Thankfully, in this same verse, we are instructed by God how to eliminate the presence of anxiety: by transforming our anxious worries into prayer requests, thereby receiving the peace of God. I have a propensity towards anxiousness and I know this anxiety often spoils my joy in the Lord. The thought of returning to work--returning to new set of students, a new grade level, and a new curriculum--makes me anxious. But God is inviting me to abide in His joy and His peace as I submit these anxious thoughts to Him in prayer. 

The following verse in 1 Thessalonians 5 echoes the content of Philippians 4:

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God is Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:16)

There it is again! A call to rejoice--to be joyful! Not just some of the time, but all of the time! And I believe this unwavering stance of joy is closely linked to the discipline of prayer and the act of giving thanks to God. My joy in the Lord will be more consistent and steadfast at my job when I am in constant communication with God through prayer. In addition, the joy I experience in my workplace will also be more consistent as I preoccupy my heart and my mind with thanksgiving--actively choosing to thank God for my job in times when I am tempted to despair over the circumstances of my job. 

Finally, Jesus' words recorded in the gospel of Matthew pertaining to the city on a hill remind us that there is a joyous purpose to our vocations. That purpose is to be the visible light of Christ in a dark, sin-plagued world. This is what our Lord says:

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16)

Jesus has entrusted us with a glorious task--the task of boldly and actively living out our faith by committing ourselves to the good works that God has already prepared for us to accomplish at our individual work places. As a follower of Christ, any opportunity to bring God the glory He deserves is a joyful opportunity. May this verse stir our hearts to respond joyfully, not grudgingly, to the task we have been called to by our precious Lord Himself. 

I cannot say, with complete confidence, that I won't cry (at least once) before having to return to work. But I can say that I desire for this year of teaching to be markedly different from the last. I pray that I will choose the joy of Christ in the midst of trying circumstances. May we all seek to choose and display this joy for the Glory of God--with minds set above.